Still no word back from Guinness. I'm assuming there is a lot of effort required to retrieve the record from Michael Dylan Kennedy (so they can issue it to me). We've put moderate effort into tracking Michael down, but have had no luck as of yet. It appears he has been placed into the Canadian version of the witness protection program by his government in an attempt to keep the Longest Stationary Wheelchair Manual Record in Canada. Unfortunately for our Canadian neighbors, America isn't known for being not-number 1; just ask the 1980 Soviet Union National Hockey team.
In the meantime, I will continue to Pimp My Ride*. I don't have much experience in the custom wheelchair industry, but check it out for yourself. Not bad, eh?
You're probably wondering if I'm just making trips to Hobby Lobby and decorating some wheelchair I bought for $20 in a sketchy warehouse sale behind our office. Well, to answer that; no. I've been training harder than Rocky in Rocky 4. In fact, I'm sending a new application to Guinness to add the Longest No-Handed Wheelchair Manual Record to my collection. I'm not even going to Google what the current record is. It wouldn't matter anyway, I'll beat it.
I'd love to stay and chat, but this montage isn't going to start itself. Be sure to email your questions, concerns, or Guinness World Record dreams to email@example.com.