Only five weeks into my World Record Rampage, and the lack of response from Guinness Book has prompted us to begin drafting Plan B; The Exposure Magazine Book of Not-Guinness Book of World Records Book. We know that, technically, their response isn't late, but we didn't realize how long five weeks feels like. That being said, send all your record applications directly to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Don't worry, we're still going to get the Guinness Record (Dylan Michael Kennedy drew first blood, not us), we just feel like we could make a more accessible book of records.
In other news, we shipped our magazine to the printers yesterday. It's probably our best one yet. Be sure to pull that crumpled little piece of our heart out of your mailbox and take pictures with it so we know it made it there safe. Take a picture doing whatever it is you do with your copies of Exposure and tag us on Facebook with them. Don't forget that your mom is probably your friend on there and she might not approve of you posting obscene Exposure Magazine Day photos. It's your mom though, we don't have to deal with her.
You may not know this, but on Magazine Day, we usually celebrate with a barbeque out in front of our hideout. I obviously BBQ'd while on the two big wheels of my chariot.* See photo below.
*I actually forgot all about the Guinness Record (it's been five weeks, I'm not an elephant), and Calvin did all the cooking. Once we remembered, I snatched up my wheelchair and took a photo with the grill to make it look like I did wheelies the whole time. The grill wasn't even hot anymore, but at least I'm honest.