I know what you're thinking, "When the hell is he going to break this record". To answer your subconscious inquiry, as soon as the staff of Guinness Book start taking their jobs as seriously as I do mine. To answer it more accurately, we are 21 days, 21 hours, 42 minutes and 58 seconds into our 6-8 week window. You're going to have to subtract that from 6-8 weeks on your own because I have a lot of work to do today.
We were recently informed by our good friend Ashli Waldrep over at the Arts & Humanities Council that we aren't the only ones on a World Record Breaking Warpath; The 'Got to Do It Big Gospel Choir' will be breaking the World's Largest Gospel Choir Record on Friday, August 7th at the Lake Charles Civic Center from 9 am to 10 pm. You can register here. I'm pretty sure that was the World's Largest Sentence.
In other news, I arrived at the office to find a tandem bicycle , also known as a pedally freight train, at my desk (actually, I had to help Calvin dig it out of a warehouse). Our Sales Director, Michael Wicks, and I will ride this platypus-esque thing to local bars to get drunk at the upcoming Pub Peddler event on August 8th. I don't have all the details yet, but I promise I'll let you know as soon as I do. I hope you'll accept this picture of our bike as my apology for my lack of information.
Well, Calvin and I just gave our trusty steed a test drive, and let's just say, it'll be an interesting night. It's kind of like riding a boat, but more awkward. That being said, we need to name this vessel. Leave your suggestions in the comments section below. Be sure to start them with 'S.S.'. You don't have to, I'll add it for you later, but when I do; it's going to make it flow off the tongue differently. I'd hate to screw up your pun with nautical technicalities.
As always, welcome to Costco, I love you.
Editor-in-Chief, Exposure Magazine