Survival of the Digitaliest
By Warren Bujol
2015 was a very interesting year. We made many great memories, met new friends, and learned new things. For example, we learned the Internet can be a powerful tool. Did you know that on the Internet; you can shop at virtual stores all over the world, watch baby sloths eat miscellaneous foods, and even read magazines...seriously. I don't know how Calvin and I have only known about the Internet for about a year (apparently, it's existed for at least 4-5 years now), but I do know we are grateful for it and we will always use it for good and productive purposes. It's bizarre to think that we've been spending thousands of dollars to print a magazine for you each month and we could've just done it on the Internets for free this whole time. We sure feel dumb, but as we read on the Internet, "better late than never". If you haven't discovered the Internet for yourself already, click here and prepare to have your mind blown. I think you might have to search for baby sloths eating fruit on a different site, but who knows?
For those of you who have been aware of the Internet for some time now, why didn't you ever tell us about it??? You know how stressful magazining is, but you never even tried to warn us. I assume you knew there were just some lessons we had to learn on our own. Let's just say; lesson learned. From here on out, we will be going all digital. We keep hearing stuff like, "that's a great idea" and , "you'll save a ton of money", but really, we are just excited to be able to use .gifs in our monthly digital issue. Our hope, and only real motivation for starting this, was to create the technology to allow us to print .gifs on paper, but being that we have no idea whatsoever of how to do that, we are just going to call this all-digital magazine a success and pretend we didn't abandon our dream...because it totally is a success and it's pretty much exactly like our dream. This is also a great way for us to circumvent our dastardly postal service, which ran notoriously late, and last, but not least; we're building an app! We'll pretty much be just like Waitr, except for we'll have more articles and probably won't deliver you food. Just imagine it; no longer will you have to open your Internet browser (that is a program you use to access the World Wide Web) and type in readexposure.com; you can just click the app and read all you want about whatever we post.
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This news is good for you, too. We range from 15,000-21,000 digital downloads each month and we have a new and improved rate card jam-packed with savings. It's as the Internet says; we are passing the savings onto you. Your ads will still appear in the magazine as they do now, but they will be interactive with links to your websites at a fraction of the cost. Be sure to contact firstname.lastname@example.org for advertising opportunities or review our rates yourself by clicking here. We'll get you taken care of.
What I'm trying to say is, printing a magazine costs a ton of money, and it's a hard industry for anyone (probably even the Lagniappe). We have decided to boldly go where Life Magazine, Travel and Leisure Golf, Teen, Playgirl and Cottage Living have already dared to go, the Internet. It was an easy decision because we still believe that Lake Charles is full of talented and innovative people that deserve a little exposure and we're going to keep shoving their hard-work in your face until you realize how great this place is...and because we are too proud to quit...and we discovered the Internet.
So join us on this exciting adventure into the all-digital future of Exposure Magazine! Be sure to send any and all of your complaints to Calvin, and your compliments to the editor. Thanks again for your support. We won't let you down.
Editor-in-Chief, Exposure Magazine
P.S. LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS!!!!
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